das reading or Life Is German to Me

well I did it
I can say that much
and now I'm kind of drunk and high
but really neither of both
because I don't really know how I feel

I made a joke about how it was my first time
and maybe that's how I feel
like it's my first time
to do anything
and I still just want to love someone

and wonder without fail
why
no
one
loves
me


that
way

and my mom's in town
and we've been sharing a bed
and I can feel myself being young again
while she cooks me breakfast
or lets me sleep in

and somehow I talked her out of going to the reading
which means I'm stranger than I know
because she really wanted to be there
and I really needed her to be there
because she would have brought me flowers

and no one else did

I think I just want some flowers