She reaches under her shirt
scratches her stomach
He sees her
he notices everything she does
-Why do you have that red mark?
She doesn't know
she looks at her stomach
-That's where they cut you out of me.
He is concerned
-How did it grow back?
She is straightforward
-They stapled it.
He is thoughtful. He is frightened. He is relieved.
-You should be dead!
She laughs.
-I know!
She is thoughtful. She is no longer frightened. She is relieved.
-I know.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
Dorothy and a Tin Man
Did you ever notice
or make a connection
or let your mind
wonder
about the girl in the red shoes
and the man made of tin
When I think of the two
I put me in her shoes
and imagine
his heart
is yours but is on down the road
somewhere closer to home
Remember when we met
You were caught in the rain
I was stealing
apples
and you wanted to speak to me
so I dampened your lips
If you had not told me
I would never have known
you were heartless
or sad
because you were so nice to me
and smiled all the time
or make a connection
or let your mind
wonder
about the girl in the red shoes
and the man made of tin
When I think of the two
I put me in her shoes
and imagine
his heart
is yours but is on down the road
somewhere closer to home
Remember when we met
You were caught in the rain
I was stealing
apples
and you wanted to speak to me
so I dampened your lips
If you had not told me
I would never have known
you were heartless
or sad
because you were so nice to me
and smiled all the time
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
A Support Group I Can Get Behind
When I drink too much
I eat
or sleep
When I eat too much
I sleep
When I sleep too much
I feel guilty
I never feel guilty
when I drink
or eat too much
When I feel guilty
I shake it off
Drinking
Eating
Sleeping too much
I can walk off
I never want too much
Food is a need
Sleep is a must
Drinking is a want
Walking is a luxury
I love luxurious food
and drink
but not too much
I dream when I'm sleeping
Drink dreams
Eat meals
Eat guilt like strawberries off a vine in your backyard
Without worry or fear of dirty fingernails
My fair share
But never too much
Cheers to much.
I eat
or sleep
When I eat too much
I sleep
When I sleep too much
I feel guilty
I never feel guilty
when I drink
or eat too much
When I feel guilty
I shake it off
Drinking
Eating
Sleeping too much
I can walk off
I never want too much
Food is a need
Sleep is a must
Drinking is a want
Walking is a luxury
I love luxurious food
and drink
but not too much
I dream when I'm sleeping
Drink dreams
Eat meals
Eat guilt like strawberries off a vine in your backyard
Without worry or fear of dirty fingernails
My fair share
But never too much
Cheers to much.
How
Today I fell into a parade
Put on a brave face
Juggled and declared peace more than once
Unwrapped a present
Wrote you a thousand thoughts and letters
Wondered why you cry
When I settle in along side you
Put on a brave face
Juggled and declared peace more than once
Unwrapped a present
Wrote you a thousand thoughts and letters
Wondered why you cry
When I settle in along side you
Sunday, June 6, 2010
2 poems
One Man's Plight
Today is not easy. Today is not carefree.
Loss is hard.
Every life counts.
A million lightyears away,
Superman
The Hands of Holy Men
When the present becomes unbearable
the past will not let go
Find peace in the hands of holy men
in silent prayer they fold
Give them all your suffering
all the moments that block out the sun
And wait in the shade of humility
the shadow of things left undone
llulaby
romanticize until your heart bursts like confetti into empty space
imagine your lover wine
sip
taste
gulp
until your lips turn red
your head dizzy
your heart light
believe in magic
deny illusions
embrace your pain as a mother would
hold it close in your arms
whisper
it will all be okay
it will all be okay
imagine your lover wine
sip
taste
gulp
until your lips turn red
your head dizzy
your heart light
believe in magic
deny illusions
embrace your pain as a mother would
hold it close in your arms
whisper
it will all be okay
it will all be okay
Smoke and Mirrors
Smoke
Behind the house
I stood with you
Tasted you
An affair
Want and need
I learned to play games
Blow smoke
You made every drug better
Waking up
Your scent lingers
I hear you in my laugh
Spent my last dollar
I wash my hands of you
Mirrors
It was the moment when I heard the glass break
Unnecessary guilt ran through me
Apologies were spoken
It was the night that my father stopped breathing
The world spun in a different direction
His heart, my heart stopped beating
It was the pain unwrapped by packages of aleve
Individually torn open by youth
Cold hospital bed at dawn
It was not me or your eyes or our lost cause
Staring me down in the looking glass
Reflections are in reverse
It was a sentence I couldn't remember
A question already answered, not yet posed
Reality realized
And
Then it was the moment when I first believed
Understood why guilt was unnecessary
Thankful for the shards of light
Then it was the night I let my father go
Let the world continue on its course
Your heart, my heart beat as one
Then it was the pain unwrapped by happiness
Something I could touch and feel and see and know
A dream to put me to bed
Then it was not a why or worry or a weight
Holding on to me, I simply stepped forward
Mirrors are reflecting light
It is a submarine, a rocket, a train
A vehicle pressing us forward
Action realising thought
Unnecessary guilt ran through me
Apologies were spoken
It was the night that my father stopped breathing
The world spun in a different direction
His heart, my heart stopped beating
It was the pain unwrapped by packages of aleve
Individually torn open by youth
Cold hospital bed at dawn
It was not me or your eyes or our lost cause
Staring me down in the looking glass
Reflections are in reverse
It was a sentence I couldn't remember
A question already answered, not yet posed
Reality realized
And
Then it was the moment when I first believed
Understood why guilt was unnecessary
Thankful for the shards of light
Then it was the night I let my father go
Let the world continue on its course
Your heart, my heart beat as one
Then it was the pain unwrapped by happiness
Something I could touch and feel and see and know
A dream to put me to bed
Then it was not a why or worry or a weight
Holding on to me, I simply stepped forward
Mirrors are reflecting light
It is a submarine, a rocket, a train
A vehicle pressing us forward
Action realising thought
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Self Portrait
When people ask what became of me
answer quickly
Alcoholism and Anorexia
When they say, but she was so pretty
roll your eyes
Smoke and Mirrors
When they think outloud, why so harsh
say real self assuredly
Obviously you never met Kara Bibb
then
start in on some wild tangent about what's really wrong with the world. curse the breakdown of democracy and bad drivers and rapists and ex-lovers and haters and everyone that steals every piece of everything that is good and natural and beautiful and true in the world. make excessively theatrical arm gestures and stand up out of your chair and with a clenched fist and your head raised to the sky say over and over and over again
why are you doing this to me
why are you doing this to me
why are you doing this to me
why are you doing this to me
why are you doing this to me
why are you doing this to me
why are you doing this
and then
in mid sentence
look far and away
as if you just lost your train of thought
and then pick right back up where you left off
to me
When the people look at you and say
what does this have to do with Kara Bibb
you'll just be like
Exactly
answer quickly
Alcoholism and Anorexia
When they say, but she was so pretty
roll your eyes
Smoke and Mirrors
When they think outloud, why so harsh
say real self assuredly
Obviously you never met Kara Bibb
then
start in on some wild tangent about what's really wrong with the world. curse the breakdown of democracy and bad drivers and rapists and ex-lovers and haters and everyone that steals every piece of everything that is good and natural and beautiful and true in the world. make excessively theatrical arm gestures and stand up out of your chair and with a clenched fist and your head raised to the sky say over and over and over again
why are you doing this to me
why are you doing this to me
why are you doing this to me
why are you doing this to me
why are you doing this to me
why are you doing this to me
why are you doing this
and then
in mid sentence
look far and away
as if you just lost your train of thought
and then pick right back up where you left off
to me
When the people look at you and say
what does this have to do with Kara Bibb
you'll just be like
Exactly
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Candid
I mean every word I said
Remember most of them
And am especially fond of the ones I wrote down
Thought some crazy thought today
Thought you might have called me
I would have called you but I am just a southern girl
Did you know I feel foolish
A cheap dress on a rack
A one size fits all that you never tried on or wore
But how could you understand
Dresses or belles of balls
Or seeing someone see you at the exact same time
Remember most of them
And am especially fond of the ones I wrote down
Thought some crazy thought today
Thought you might have called me
I would have called you but I am just a southern girl
Did you know I feel foolish
A cheap dress on a rack
A one size fits all that you never tried on or wore
But how could you understand
Dresses or belles of balls
Or seeing someone see you at the exact same time
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Captured Feathers or Self Indulgence
I'm not writing about you this time
or me
This is about justice
the crumbling difference
between right and wrong
a line has been drawn
and it's not in the sand
In the face of truth
lies are brought to light
their ugliness burning
blistered and lackluster
suddenly susceptible
Because truth lives in a lie
and seeks to make itself known
the same way
blue or red or yellow is lost in black
but is still present
So I lied
because this is about me
and you
or me
This is about justice
the crumbling difference
between right and wrong
a line has been drawn
and it's not in the sand
In the face of truth
lies are brought to light
their ugliness burning
blistered and lackluster
suddenly susceptible
Because truth lives in a lie
and seeks to make itself known
the same way
blue or red or yellow is lost in black
but is still present
So I lied
because this is about me
and you