Tsk

I looked up
and no one was pointing the finger at me
so I started blaming me for everything
that is so typical of me

I looked up
and my mother and my sister were sharing
my loveseat and that was everything
every little piece of me

I just can't
I can't do this
I can't count every word I write
I can't count on every word you say

hard breaks and long pauses
don't make sense to me
I'm trying to write a story right now
and you keep showing up in my poetry

You
You
You


please don't take this away from me

When Mema died

My grandmother
Jolene Bracy
my mother's mother

She was beautiful
blonde
blue eyes
fair
wonderful
eccentric
delightful
real
She is my grandmother

Once she told me she was voting for Ross Perot
because it sounded nice
President Perot

She took in a tattered pageant dress
and, bead by bead, sewed
every paisley that was meant to adorn that dress
I tied for first runner up
She was there

When Mema died
I was in Texarkana
I wore pin-striped pants to her funeral
I read a poem
I raced home before it was over

Family is fragile
I rarely know how to handle it
I treat it too gingerly

Tops or Floral Loveseats

she rearranged their furniture
seperating his from hers
stacking indescretions on top of each other
a single skeleton key locked all of their doors

from the inside

You want to go back in time?

No.

You want to live forever?

Yes.

Alright, let's go.

clik
clik
clik

And she let him back in, forever.

Currently Redefining Sexy

So my dad died of a crystal meth overdose
and my mother is spectacularly beautiful
She left him a few months before
he up and died
on drugs
She's still really beautiful
She's still really poor
Like, has no money
because my dad was poor
That's how it works
My mom and I are really poor
in money
because my dad had a drug problem
and died before he amended his finances

Amending your finances
is a second word for
taking care of your family

I am currently redefining
Family

People look like People

I marched down the sidewalk of downtown
left right left
I could feel the cold in my right ear

Of the three people that looked like me
two people looked at me
I said hi

I wondered if anyone ever wondered
why
I didn't look at them

Admitting One

I can be so hateful now
now that I know
and I was so hateful to you
when you lived in my apartment
and when I sat in your car
when I said I used to do it for you
but now you are on your own
you didn't miss a beat
you just said
"why are all these people in the middle of the road?"
you're a peculiar one that way
the way you don't quite react
the way people want you to
I think I get it from you