I stand up
straighten my back
for at least 30 seconds
every day
I daydream while sleeping
about doctors fixing me
my body
a case worth studying
The back splash in my kitchen
is always clean
and the gun in my mouth
is just a fantasy
that I am quick to replace with
flowers I am smelling
not hanging myself from my balcony
Because
there is you
It is
exactly as I thought it would be
everything is the same
but different
You are with me
We are
together
Our babies go crazy for us
we plot to keep them company
and apologize
when we do not fall asleep
at the exact same moment
as them
And we
fall asleep inside of ourselves
bodies so out of touch
we’re ashamed to know each other
Okay, I said it
this is the aftermath of almost forty
and the science of anatomy
but I still want you
to want me
Can we stop saying we are almost forty?
I need to be in my 30’s
This is a safe place for me
Remember, it is just you. And me.
Perfect company
