for lack of beds, I slept next to him
I listened to him whisper to himself
happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday
dear Jalen
happy birthday to me
I thought about summer camps, swimming pools, and superheroes
I thought about him and how he waited all day for a party and me
to show up with the presents my sister had promised her son
to show up with a rite of passage in the form of an orange bicycle
that was last spring, and then winter came
when I hid his presents under my small sink
Jolly old Saint Nicholas, lean your ear this way, don't you tell
a single soul
what I'm going to say
the next day he cried at my kitchen table while I tried to explain
why he should wait and make his gingerbread house with his mother
the next month someone pawned a present I had bought him
and I explained to myself the difference between money and love
and I felt sick, and I felt noble at once
a Romeo holding an empty vile and Juliet
ring around the rosie, pocket full of posies, ashes
ashes
we all fall down
as April ended this year my nephew turned eight
and I spent the day planning an escape for everyone
I thought about how he laughed at his own jokes
and how I cried when I first heard about him
and I prayed, please let him be a good man
over and over and over and over again
1 comment:
And this summer he will change us all into the people we were meant to be if not you at least me.
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