Smoke and Mirrors

Smoke

Behind the house

I stood with you

Tasted you

An affair

Want and need

I learned to play games

Blow smoke

You made every drug better

Waking up

Your scent lingers

I hear you in my laugh

Spent my last dollar

I wash my hands of you

Mirrors

It was the moment when I heard the glass break
Unnecessary guilt ran through me
Apologies were spoken

It was the night that my father stopped breathing
The world spun in a different direction
His heart, my heart stopped beating

It was the pain unwrapped by packages of aleve
Individually torn open by youth
Cold hospital bed at dawn

It was not me or your eyes or our lost cause
Staring me down in the looking glass
Reflections are in reverse

It was a sentence I couldn't remember
A question already answered, not yet posed
Reality realized

And

Then it was the moment when I first believed
Understood why guilt was unnecessary
Thankful for the shards of light

Then it was the night I let my father go
Let the world continue on its course
Your heart, my heart beat as one

Then it was the pain unwrapped by happiness
Something I could touch and feel and see and know
A dream to put me to bed

Then it was not a why or worry or a weight
Holding on to me, I simply stepped forward
Mirrors are reflecting light

It is a submarine, a rocket, a train

A vehicle pressing us forward
Action realising thought