It's You

I went home and I cried and I begged

"Please tell me what I'm doing wrong."

because I thought I was doing it right

and I need to know why it didn't work

"Why didn't I fix the world today?"

and I thought maybe it's me

so I looked up the word "apathy"

because I've been hearing it alot recently

But it's not me

Insider Information

important words are repeated

the
I
love
you
me
will
be
he
and
she
is
we

let me know
when you are ready
to start
the repeating

and, while we're on the subject
there's the matter of the bereft
so we should be sensitve
to that

because there is no one in this world
that has felt loss
of love or words
without first feeling

something for the first time

my thoughts on sarcasm

My Thoughts on Depression


depressed people always seem to be doing more interesting things

as if their sudden unhappiness

somehow lends itself to seeking out things to do

someone really happy probably does

like going to museums

or on vacation

or to a hokey bar

with friends

or something...

magic is the new charming

I remembered that thought about illusions
and magic
and had to remember which one I believed in
and which one I was better at
and I felt good knowing
that there was no such word as
dismagicment
because there is no opposite to
and you cannot explain away
things that are real
so I took a deep breath
and concentrated on thin air

10,000 representing something outside of me

it is August and it is cold
in the way thirty is old
when you are ten
or moreso
it is an air-conditioner on sunburned skin
but the summer as a whole
has been an illustration of an arsonist
with a bottomless pocket of strike-anywheres
and a happy hand of lighter fluid
standing beside the car he just stole
from his ex-girlfriend
who slept with his best friend
but it's cool now

diamonds are dinosaurs

sitting cross-legged on a piece of carpet

I studied prehistory in cartoon photographs

matching names to body parts

in the afternoon, light would spill into the room

and change the way the pictures looked

I had to memorize them all over again

the letters spelled things that I couldn't read

so I created days in their lives

taking extra care to consider the one I thought was me

it was on that carpet that a friend lost an earring

she said it was important

and all I knew was that I wanted to find it for her

I remember how the setting felt against the side of my palm

how the diamond glinted and then lingered on the faded rug

it was heavy and I knew I was doing something important

as I stood up and carried the sparkly thing to her

I felt like a dinosaur

Walking

We watched as her feet passed over the cement

she wondered who laid the road
and what the ground looked like beneath

She hurt for the grass

She hurt for the things she could not see

She hurt for the the hands
the decrees
the machines
She hurt for everything

We wondered if she only thought of herself

She wondered what to do with hurt
because she could not contain it
and no one could relive it
and it only hurt

And her feet passed over the cement