History

the birds build records of their lives
they measure it in twigs

while the bees pay no attention to history
and sacrifice themselves one by one every spring

to the flower who keeps an open diary
of loves me and loves me not

unlike the tree who protects his story
hiding his rings like secret promises

Attention to...

the difference
between walking
and walking on air
is the ground

pay more

it's a happy thought

the one that shakes my voice

and invites me to look away

shakes a feeling of not wanting to share

i want to share everything with you

i want to tell you about the time i lost my virginity

the time someone slapped me square across the face

i want you to know i am editing my journals with messages to you

it's easy

everything i've written

has been

about you

Probably

i have
some
still
feelings

i still
believe
in
love

i have
some
fluent
feelings

moving forward
away
from
passive

an atom
vibrating
harder
brighter

You

I can comfortably sit eight in my living room
not counting the friends
that are comfortable on the floor

if i tell you this
you will think
i am crazy
but i think
you should know
i am crazy

And that's o.k.

the first day of spring was warm in my memory
and the only thing we could think to toast to

we woke up early like morning people
unsettled by the night before but free

that day was longer than we could remember
so we pretended we were watching the sun set

and said every little thought that came to mind
except for the one I didn't tell you

the one that started when you placed your hand
between my pillow and my head

Notice

i say we not be the hibernating breed
i say we start campfires
in the middle of the steet in the middle of the afternoon

in the middle of your depression

arkansas is this special place that remains
artifact is history and proof of resistance
alchemy is what we are doing

in the middle of your depression

Nobody Will

i like the way
it takes an hour
to disengage our thoughts and bodies
and say goodnight


the lulled way we move
away but closer to each other
words parting lips
tiny miracle
repeating itself in slanted form


i know my heart
knew you before me
and every thought i had of fate
beauty and truth
is proven in you
in the way you play your vocal chords
in perfect rhythm
against my ears
in perfect unison with my drum

In Reverse

a moment ago when we kissed
while smoke was still in my mouth
because my cigarette suddenly seemed
less important than you
i hoped you wouldn't mind the haste

before that i set myself in your lap
and said you could make yourself at home
as i explained the ways you could trust me
with a look and a smile
that sincerely said I trust you

while i was waiting for you to get here
i made this conscious effort to forget you
because i love surprises when they're pleasant
and i love the waiting
even if it means forgetting

today i kissed you before sunrise
in full dress and an attempt to tell you
sometimes i sleep through tentative plans
you seemed relieved
i just needed your kiss

because kissing you is more
important than poetry or prose
kissing you is more like sex than sex
kissing you is more
than what happens next

Vertically and...

i used to think
love began
and ended
lying down
as if my submissions
were somehow
proof of
my intentions
then there was you
and today
when we
stood still
together in the mist
and i
realized this
love begins
when you stand beside
some one
who stands
beside you

Except

if my empty wine bottle collection
was my wine selection
i guess we'd be about ripe to celebrate

Right Now

the space behind my eyelids feels heavy
and noise becomes distorted
as a buzz begins to fill my chest
and no matter where i feel this
the only remedy
is quiet breathing


your mind is a machine operator
that often lets the machine
do the hard work for it
the machine doesn't know the difference
but was designed with
an automatic shut off switch


i see it but feel it too
this hysteria to just end it all
and my prayers call for nothing
to remind the conspiracy theorists
that they could change their mind
maybe the world won't end at all

Sing A Song

i've been working from forward to backward
for as long as i can remember
that's the thing about memories
they always start in the past

A Heart

i waited for
forever once
last night
when you said my name
i responded in slang
and looked towards you
until i buried
every piece of me
that wanted for you
next to the person
i used to be
the same way
i buried my face
in your chest
this morning
as you were leaving
with absolute abandonment

Reading

other people's words are knives in my back
or salve on an open wound
there is no in between
it hurts
or it feels better

You Are

hopeless romantics are the most hopeful of all
their chest turned inside out
no cage contains their heart
no net can catch their breath
after an unexpected fall takes it out of them

they look forward to sunrise and sunset
a horizon with a crush
watching for the sun to arrive
the sun a pretty girl
that always seems to slip pass them