Saturday, April 30, 2016


love is complicated
it is a many tangled thing
but the heart is simple
even with its many tangled veins
it is dissectible
able to be understood
do not confuse your love
with your heartbeat
one pulses
with or without you
the other relies on you
and hopes it does not raise the pressure
when you are wanting for love
look around
it is the only thing you have ever done
so stay loose
and believe in the thing
you first believed in
where your heart lives easy

Friday, April 29, 2016

Head Phones

It is funny
that I call it
my music
These combustions of truth
beauty in melody
that I hold so closely
have nothing to do with me
I can't think of anything
that is more mine
than my favorite line
from a song or epic album
Right now
it is Muchacho by Phosphorscent
it has become me
Tonight, it might be Lemonade
I don't know though
as much as I want
to connect with everybody
the most important thing
to me
is the exclusivity
of only feeling
what I am feeling

Coming Along

When I stopped looking
into the mirror
to find myself
I found my reflection
in the people I meet
None of them
look like me
but they say the same words as me
and get proud and hungry
thirsty and sleepy
They look at me
as if I were a mirror
and ask questions
or order me to do their bidding
This is all fine by me
The only thing I ever wanted from me
was to do right by you

Doppler Radar and Decoupage

It is lonely
to wait for the other one
if you believe
the other one is
more like Winter than Spring
It is no big thing
to celebrate your birthday
one week exactly
before the Summer Solstice
If you believe the Fall
is the end all be all of hibernating
you are closer to the beginning
than the end
trust me
We are different parts of the puzzle
I am really good at getting it started
it is those last few pieces
the ones that mimic each other
that need a little help
being put together
but I forgive you for calling me lonely
I have been looking for a reason
to tell you
about glorified glue

Power Outages

I rely on inspiration
but burn up my expensive candles
on any whim
I do not invest in the cheap ones
maybe I should
but thus far
or at least for the last twelve years
I have been pretty lucky on the grid
the lights just haven't gone out
It has been a long time
since I have sat in the total darkness
but besides my useless flowers
and used up scented candle jars
I always feel ready for it

The Draw

It's an open invitation
but the responses
keeping coming back
as accusations
"Do you want to be with me?"
Yes. I do.
I am sorry
But I'm not sorry
I like your satchel
and the way
you interact with people
I like your beard
and all of your button up shirts
I like that you don't have to
unlace your shoes
Yes, I want to be with you.

Champagne, Darling?

Let's have a dialogue
is what I said to the tree
but the tree just shook its leaves at me
so I brushed off my foliage
but as I turned away
I worried someone would come
chop that tree down
and turn him into lumber
Suddenly I was so concerned
about what would become of him
At best he would become a dance floor
or a piece of firewood in winter
but what if he was just left
in some yard somewhere
and was never weather-proofed
How would he ever hold a champagne flute
or have a conversation with me?

Cloud Breaking

Today at Boulevard
a regular asked a special favor
He said, "Hey, will you make the rain let up?
Just for a minute?
I know you can do that sort of thing."
I said, "Yes, absolutely,
but don't tell anybody."
I brewed some more coffee
and he thanked me
as he walked out the open front door
without borrowing an umbrella
A few minutes later
the lights flickered in unison with the thunder
the lightening seemed mad at me
it came down in droves
But what else could I do?
I'm in customer service

E Pluribus Unum (One From Many)

Coins are usually made of copper
and other elements
such as zinc and nickel
Paper money is made of one part linen
and three parts cotton
Red and blue synthetic fibers
of various lengths
are distributed evenly
throughout the single
Before World War I
these fibers were made of silk
A one dollar bill
has the life expectancy
of twenty-two months
It costs five cents to make it
Or sometimes
if you're just really talented
and listen with all of your heart
people will just give it to you

Umbrella Man

I was disappointed
but indignant
It was raining
I only had Coors Light to drink
but they were cold
and I drank them quickly
I was wanting for Romeo, again
It was one in the morning
every time a car drove by
it nearly gave me a heart attack
The patio was covered
I was settled in to blankets
The street, divided by a lawn,
was empty and still
besides the soft pelting
of rain on the grass
and the twinkle of illimunation
as the streetlight fluxed
That's when he appeared
for the first time
I should have been scared
rain coat, boots, hat,
and an umbrella
all different shades of faded yellow
I watched as he passed through the lawn
imagining the grass was freshly cut
and the green shavings
were collecting around rubber soles
and up to even the shins of his pants
From east to west, he carried himself
then west to east and back again
He didn't seem to have a mission
besides showing off
his big, yellow, faded umbrella

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

E.P. (Every Person) I Meet vs. Love at First Sight

Hearing a song for the first time
that captivates you completely
is Love at First Sight

You don't even know the words yet
but each movement and lyric
has mesmerized you

You want more
so you play it again and again
until you know it completely

And maybe when you meet someone
for the first time
they have this same effect on you

The good impression you had of them
hangs in the balance
of that first listen

So you press for more
but instead of repeating
the perfection of introduction

you enter into an expectation
of the album, hoping each date is greater
or as good as the first song you heard

This is why I'm no good at dating
Every one I meet
is a one hit wonder

Monday, April 18, 2016

Oz and Ends

When Dorothy left Kansas
it was unexpected
and she didn't know
if she would ever get home
She was a tourist
thrown into a different land
and I know she was afraid
but she was also very brave
exploring a new world
How could she have known
where to begin
She was lucky too
She didn't have to ask for direction
but she sure paid attention
to every map given to her
and swooped up her best friend
paid attention to conversation

made new friends as she went
and literally was dancing
as she put one foot in front of the other
and headed down an unknown road
to travel to a city she had never heard of

All the context clues are telling me
There is No Place Like Home
but everything that's happened to me
Feels Like A Tornado

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Fruit Flies and Day Drinking

I'm watching this little gnat
that I rescued from my red wine glass
and he is rehabilitating
like a champ
I haven't given him enough time
to sober up
but that isn't stopping me
from telling him, in full sentences,

Do Not Hang Out With The People
Tell your ant, wasp, and mosqito friends
to stay the fuck away from us
We Will Kill You
Your Kind Is Not Welcome Here
Get the hell out of dodge
and go live in the woods somewhere

This is what I told my gnat friend
I also warned him about over-population
and offered him water
Man, I shouldn't have a soft spot
for fruit flies
but I had to do something
I didn't mean to almost kill him
I'm just day drinking

Saturday, April 16, 2016

It's All For Show

Let's be clear right now
none of this
is for show

This is a beating heart
an occupied mind
a plebeian learning
how to brew coffee

I juggle
because I do not
endorse boredom
I speak because I can
None of this is for show

Not even when I read poetry
I was invited so I just go
I assess the room
go on stage instead of bus tables
I am not the party
I clean up after people

This is not the skill-set I asked for
I wish I could build your house
and plan your every need
but instead
I keep showing up
to ceremonies
Please do not hire me

Friday, April 15, 2016

Here I Am

I couldn’t imagine
meeting me for the first time
not because I am special
but because I am
the most ordinary thing
Nothing extravagant
has ever happened to me
My stories are the same
as anybody’s
just embellished
I’m always on edge about that
When I wake up
it’s to an alarm clock
and just like you
I silently wish
my job has burned down
and no one would notice
if I never showed up again
When I get low
the blues makes me happy
When I get high
I can’t stop laughing
I couldn’t imagine
ever meeting me
because I want to meet you
it's all I think about
So that’s what I do
enter into each day
looking for doppelgangers
and other sordid people
who feel like me
It’s tough to say
if any day has turned up you
but for whatever reason
I just keep pressing through
And some days I hide
other days I’m the loudest
person in the room
Maybe I wash my hair and put on mascara
I actually don’t know what to do
to find another ordinary person
that just wants to sit with me
and figure out what it is we want
for dinner

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Bears and Wolves and How I Make Everything About Me

Besides the dreams I have
about a bear bobsledding
down the wrong side
of the street
and a wolf stalking me
while I shop for groceries
I rarely think of bears or wolves

I mostly think of me
At my worst
I am painfully aware of me
dirty fingernails and crooked teeth
Weak chin and forehead
and other things I do not speak
Nervous and screaming, look at me

I am okay with that
I just gotta be me
so I remind myself
that I am sweet
My words are affectionate
and though I am too forthcoming
I am as honest as I can be

All Animals are Born Naked

Today I slept in the baptism of a dark room
I did not think of sex or friendship
I only thought of sleep
When the left side of the bed would call to me
I would roll over and warm myself there
and when the right side of the bed
called back in jealousy
I would reach my arm out and comfort it

Last night I dressed myself for warmth
the rain fell soft and cold around my patio
The view was new to me but felt like home
I kept thinking
I am so lucky
and when the muse visited me for the third time
I gave myself completely to him
We spoke of bears and wolves
and other things I am not afraid of

We are all born naked
our flesh covered in womb
the insides of a woman
Upon arrival, we all fought for breath
our lungs, new to us, ballooned
it was painful, it hurt to live already
Each and everyone of us
entered this world crying
None of us asked for this

Sloth Parade

When it moves slowly,
and there is no room to interject,
the sloth parade begins
Though the movement is purposeful,
it's too calculated to witness
Hit the ground running suffers this,
why isn't anything happening?

The sloth parade
is fresh paint and blades of grass,
but more than anything,
it is a flower in bloom
or, perhaps,
the correction of crooked things
You still don't know what I mean

If so, we can correct this too
To put it simply,
the sloth parade is everything
you didn't realize was happening
It took too long,
but made the moments ecstasy,
and the hangovers easy

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

When You Feel Like an Animal Looking at the People

The mirror was reflecting the light
I was, at once
disappointed and mesmerized
I was on a mission to create a collage
It was important to me
to approach the task with parameters
no squares, no frames,
the mirrors had to speak to me

The frame was maybe 22'' by 36''
It was yellow, I could tell it was old
But what struck me most
was the imagery
I think it is a marsh
but nevermind where they were
These two cranes anchored
and lived in the mirror

I look at them everyday
but still cannot say
what they are up to
I purposefully hung the piece
too high up on my wall
to investigate me
because I know the prehistoric birds
are me

About A Cat I Just Met

It is strange and simple
to be me
I don't even have to look both ways
to cross the street
They only go one way
or the other
I am mutilated
but I am lucky
this thing that makes me different
is endearing

I chase the moths
roll my body on the pebbled sidewalk
I am petite and open to friendship
and when the moths don't want to play
I will stop and prove to you
that I noticed you too
I will not mind your cigarette
because you didn't feel sorry for me
And you can pet me
because I love you already

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Bubonic Boy

I tried to think of a way
to compliment him
by pointing out his likeness
to the Black Plague
He was so curious to me
not human
he couldn't possibly exist
but people had experienced him
That seemed unnatural
so all I could do
was avoid him. 

Wednesday, April 6, 2016


I once had a vintage match collection
but I lost it in a series of fires
I lit dozens of packs of cigarettes
Every spark a catalyst
every spark went down in flames
Remember, my ashtray is overflowing

Once I told myself to temper my temper
I stopped being angry a long time ago
Shortly thereafter I promised myself
that the seventh definition of 'mad'
as defined by Noah and his dictionary
is completely delightful, and dignified

I've traveled back to that time again
in a series of trials
devoted to understanding
the delicate intricacies
of getting what you want
getting what you deserve
Putting out, and starting fires

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Come As Us Are

anything better than good
is so good
when you find it in a person
over-stimulation is the norm
you trust the voice you speak with
feel fine in your skin
there is nothing left to do but smile
and enjoy your new friend

Monday, April 4, 2016

30 Seconds and Every Ounce of Me

For eight years I counted to thirty
every time I pulled a shot
At eight seconds, the espresso would fall
Dark chocolate stream
eventually turning to caramel
everything that makes coffee good
was expressed and then the hot water
would flicker and thin
Press stop
Disengage the half-minute
An ounce exactly
Three layers, the crema settled on top
It is good
I am doing this right

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Three of Thirty

The known appears to be unreliable
There is food on the ground everywhere
but I keep spending half my paycheck
on ordering in to eat
I know there are places
where this truth is not true
but this just proves my point
The unknown is cattle call
They keep showing up in droves
Scientists are still unsure
of what it is exactly they expect to see
but we've hypothesized
it's just a city they've never seen

Friday, April 1, 2016

Patiently Waiting For Mary

This poem is not about Jesus
I assure you, nothing is about Jesus
If it is good, soothes your anxiety
and stains your lips
it is kissing and red wine
If it is good, brightens your day
and warms your heart
it is the sun and kindness
If it is good, holds your hand
and softens the fall
it is love and tall green grass
When you wait for it
with every breath
inhale, waiting
exhale, waiting
while your heart remains calm
and rid of fear
it is not Mary, it is you