Sunday, May 28, 2017

White Moths (All Omens Were Created Equal)

When the white moth showed up
on Friday night I knew it meant something.
Everything I read about omens agreed,
I was being visited by the deceased.
(Superstitions are like horoscopes,
they're only real if you believe.)

On Saturday I started thinking about
that time someone told me
i am the way i am
because i need people to like me.
You were the first one to tell me
i treat strangers better than i treat family
I thought I was just saying "hi" in passing.
I had to dig so deep to remember
that I am the way I am
because I need me to like me.
This is how I think people should be.

Today I looked up and nine years had passed
along with you.
I started to believe that the flipped breakers,
thunder, and strangers in my spare room
were because of you.
It is scary to believe in heaven
and perfect places where everyone there
is someone you love
who loves you too
but I swear on everything that is true
that as I sit here thinking about it
another white moth visited me
and I just know it was you.


Sunday, May 14, 2017

We Were Both There

You were 18 when you
first met me.
I was all thumbs-up,
and you still brag about
how easy it was
to have me.
I actually don't remember
being 18,
but I remember Mariah Carey,
Bone Thugs-N-Harmony,
and breaking down.

Of course you were scared
when I up and left town.
You wrote me every day
and I had to interpret
everything you said to me
through the tear stains
that blurred the letters I'd get.
It was hard for me too.
I wanted to cry all the time,
but couldn't.

If there is anything
you have taught me,
it's forget everything
that hurts
and live completely
in the moments
that make living
worth it...
and cry when I want to.

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Thermometers and Thermostats

My heart was set to 72
since before I was born.

I just want everyone
to be comfortable.

But that's not entirely true
because what I really want
is for everyone to be set
to my temperature.

This is not an oasis fantasy.
I am carefully understanding
how to set each person's degree
to exactly how it should be...

Mild, with a slight chance of
subdued responsibility

My heart is set to 72.
I can't be held responsible
for the cold in your heart
or the heat in your retreat


Monday, March 13, 2017

Taxes and Death

Death is easier to explain
than explaining how good
being alive is
When the general-general is
white on white on white
words stop making sense
Maybe money is important
Hey, Bank
Hey, Government
Take all this spending money I never spent
so I can sit on my patio
and listen to sad songs
that make me happy
I'm not going to pretend like
I never washed dishes
or played music or made beds
for strangers
I know that's worth something
Eleven percent on the dollar
Seems fair
I don't care
Whatever

Death is inevitable and does not come with an expiration date

Some people lose everything and still find a way to wrap their minds around how zero equals love



Sunday, February 19, 2017

Service Industry Part 1.

The dishwasher told me I look like Jesus
"Pareces como hermoso Jesรบs"
I know just what he means

The chef reassures me
"He just thinks you're heavenly"
as if I thought Edilberto was being mean

But I know he loves me

because he's never upset
when I put dirty dishes
where the clean dishes go
as a matter of fact
he never seems upset
at any one
for any thing

Edilberto is more like Jesus
than any body I know






Sunday, January 22, 2017

Tulips Tomorrow

I am crazy restless pacing my apartment,
moving baubles around and cleaning out purses
I would sweep but I swept yesterday
I would sleep but my fridge is full of beer
and nothing else
All my vases are clean but empty
That must be a metaphor for something
I think something new is about to begin
It's not spring
it is cold and rainy, but things are changing
Maybe it has something to do with me
I have to tell you
there is something peaceful inside of me
It can drive me to hysterics
if I do not make lists of the money I spend
It makes me uncomfortable to feel complete
So when I realize my apartment
fits perfectly together but there are no flowers,
I pull everything out of the closets
and write down: Buy tulips tomorrow

The Highest Road leads to The Mountain Top

Unsolicited advice:
take the high road
Do not simmer
in hate or fear
Be happy today
Show your neighbor
what happy is
It is a warm winter
and the gardens will
need tending to soon
Push the dirt around
with your bare hands
Push the wind around
with your own breath
If you think nothing has changed
than you are not paying attention
If you think we are not winning
then you are not breathing
Slow it down,
take it easy, baby